HONOR AND LOVE CULTURE: DATING AND PURSUIT

January 12, 2019

 

 

 

Above all else this is the posture we ALL need to have

 

It is God’s will that you should be sanctified, that you should avoid sexual immorality

-1 Thessalonians 4:3

 

1st and 2nd Greatest Commandment

-Matthew 22:26-38

 

There is going to be a lot of information here, there will be a recording and blog post of the notes! Look out!

 

Posture of a single person: it's about preparation not waiting

  • It’s about building your character and dealing with your insecurities because you maybe able to hide them now but several things expose you

    • Leadership (promotion)

    • Time

    • Relationships

  • The foundations that you should build as person

    • Identity

    • Confront and battle insecurities

    • Vulnerability

    • A community of support

    • Covering


 

Pursuit

 

BYG Standards

  • Both parents are to be in the know and ok

  • Pastors are to be in the know for covering

  • Individuals must seek genuine brotherhood/sisterhood.

 

What is it,

  • It’s before dating and it’s not just waiting but preparation.

  • It is a time to make a plan and being intentional. Infatuation believes that being free and figuring things out works but if you want a long lasting relationship, you have to be intentional.

    • A mentality of, “let’s just date,” never works.



 

Dating

 

Dating Anatomy

  • Intention of getting to know for the purpose of marriage

    • If you are not ready to get married or think about it, then don’t entertain it.

    • You might then say that I need experience so I should date around, the only experience you gonna get is pain.

    • Expectations and stimulation

      • If you are just hanging out to have fun and fulfill desires then don’t stimulate the person of the opposite gender because stimulation creates expectation.

        • Flirting: Flirting is of the devil if their no intention of commitment.

  • Alignment of desires and convictions

    • Don’t commit to someone who

      • Doesn’t know what convictions they have

    • Don’t line up in your  convictions

      • Especially in regards to Christ.

      • If only one person is soaring for Christ, the other person as sadly as it may be is that they become an anchor in your life.

  • Honor

    • Again, don’t stimulate!

    • Honor

      • It is willing to deny yourself and the other person for the sake of purity. The honorable person knows not only how to guard their honor but guard the honor of others by willing to say no. Doesn’t mean you lecture them but you are willing stand for what is right regardless of what they want.

  • Dating practices/tips

    • Trust and commitment must be built overtime. People try to get intimate before they build trust and commitment and that is why we have so much dysfunction and pain. It doesn’t guarantee pain free and you might say what the point is?

      • Think of fire drills.

      • Why do we do it? Why do we prepare?

      • Fire drills don’t prevent fires but when it does happen we will know how to navigate the situation well rather in frantic chaos that does more damage.

    • Communicate

      • Learning how to talk things out rather assume things forever

      • Assumption kills any type of relationship

      • Communication is an art that needs to be developed! A good place to practice is trying to communicate how you feel rather than making them feel how you feel.

    • Have a plan

      • What are your intentions

      • What are your goals as individuals

      • What are your goals as a couple

      • BIGGEST QUESTION!!! WHERE IS GOD IN ALL OF THIS?

 

Bible Passages

 

John 3:3-8 English Standard Version (ESV)

3 Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again[a] he cannot see the kingdom of God.” 4 Nicodemus said to him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born?” 5 Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. 6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.[b] 7 Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You[c] must be born again.’ 8 The wind[d] blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”

 

2 Corinthians 6:14-15 English Standard Version (ESV)

14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?15 What accord has Christ with Belial?[a] Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?

Colossians 3:5 English Standard Version (ESV)

5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you:[a] sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

1 Corinthians 6:9 English Standard Version (ESV)

9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous[a] will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,[b]

2 Timothy 2:22 English Standard Version (ESV)

22 So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

Romans 12:9-10 English Standard Version (ESV)

9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

1 Corinthians 6:18 English Standard Version (ESV)

18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin[a] a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

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